ABCwatch

Tim Blair

Ombudsgod

New Criterion

 

 

Wednesday, September 29, 2004
 
The rules of debate that proved so successful in the Howard-Latham confrontation have been adopted for the Bush-Kerry meet-up. Some examples:
At no time during the debates shall either candidate remove any article of clothing, such as tie, belt, socks, suspenders, etc.

Candidates shall not wear helmets, padding, girdles, prosthetic devices, or “elevator”-type shoes. Per above, candidates shall not remove shoes or throw same at each other during debate.

“Italian,” “French,” “Latino,” “Bulgarian,” or other ethnic-style gestures intended to demean, impugn, or otherwise derogate opponent by casting aspersions on opponent’s manhood, abilities as lover, or cuckold status are prohibited.

Candidates shall make reasonable use of underarm deodorant.
This is the one Mark Latham's camp had particular difficulty with:
The following terms are specifically forbidden and may not be used until after each debate is formally concluded: “girlie-man,” “draft dodger,” “drunk,” “ignoramus,” “Jesus freak,” “frog,” “bozo,” “wimp,” “toad,” “lickspittle,” “rat bastard,” “polluting bastard,” “lying bastard,” “demon spawn,” “archfiend,” or compound nouns ending in “-hole” or “-ucker.”