ABCwatch

Tim Blair

Ombudsgod

New Criterion

 

 

Thursday, April 03, 2003
 
AS UNCLE PREDICTED some months ago, a couple of weeks of the Iraq campaign have made old Max-weird McCutcheon an expert on the military, legal and technical aspects of the campaign.

So much so that he's finding it harder and harder to make time for the communards' stroke-pals out in Auntie land.

Tonight Max jumped enthusiastically down the throat of one caller who was stupid enough to see no alternative means of unseating Saddam. Hans Blix has stated categorically, barked Max, that with more time he could disarm Saddam. And cut the mug off.

That'll teach those war-mongers to ring my program.

Still, callers can be useful. When you have just asserted that cluster bombs are Weapons of Mass Destruction, as Max had, it is handy to be able to pass to a caller before one of your guest talents can start to fret.

Or, suppose you've told the world that the Americans were shocked to find that they had advanced a few hundred Ks into Iraq and had captured nothing but desert. I suppose they had to start looking for the signposts on the road to find their real targets. It would be intolerable if someone who isn't Max tried to muddy the water by pointing out that all that useless desert ended at Baghdad. Which is where the US forces had reached several hours before.

And no-one did.

He may be ignorant, bigoted, intolerant, manipulative, unprofessional and insulting to the reputation of his country, and he is, but Max is not stupid.

You never see Max make the mistake of publishing a column in the national press, like the Gastropod, who weekly shows himself to be ignorant, hateful, bigoted, intolerant, unprofessional and very, very boring.


TALENT ADAM COBB acquitted himself satisfactorily on SBS the other night. He must have, since Max-weird had him along as one of his expert contributors on Australia Talks Back tonight.

I reckon any defence analyst who wants our troops withdrawn at this point must be a person of remarkable talents.

At least for self-promotion.

Max-weird's other talent was a professor of peace studies from the UK. Just the chap for a discussion of the progress of the war in Iraq. He seemed to have more to say about why it should never have happened in the first place and should be stopped. Right now.