ABCwatch

Tim Blair

Ombudsgod

New Criterion

 

 

Tuesday, February 11, 2003
 
I HAD RESOLVED to avoid listening to the Late Night Live debates on the issue of Iraq, repeated by popular Communard demand. But a poorly-timed car-journey brought me an experience more distasteful than jogging past a week-dead kangaroo.

Never leave your car radio on and tuned to the ABC.

I knew what to expect. With a room packed with anti-war hysterics, the Gastropod would exceed his usual lack of objectivity and become a cheer-leader from the Chair.

As indeed he did. It was a debate in which the contenders strove for reasonableness and the Chair worked the audience for easy cheers.

How many dead children will it take before you withdraw your support for this war? he challenged those who had failed to deny themselves in favour of the Gastropodian view.

Bishop Carroll responded mildly that it was an unfair (not to say outrageous) question.

I know, responded silly Philly. That's why I asked it.

That's why Russell Balding needn't bother asking for an extra $250 mill this year. Or ever.

Following Margo Kingston's advice, Uncle tried to pacify his churning gut by visualising.

What came to mind was an image of the porky Gastropodian face surrounded by a cloud of blow-flies, back-lit like a halo.

It fits.