Tim Blair


New Criterion



Saturday, February 08, 2003
FREE WILLY AND SILLY PHILLY combine in this weekend's glossy life-style supplement to the Australian.

While a bunch of animal-sentimentalisers throw millions of dollars at a vicious, whale-drowning killer-whale that munches seal pups like cocktail frankfurters and just happens to look like an obese penguin straight out of a tub of lip gloss, The Australian, assisted by Auntie ABC, continue to pour tens of thousands of dollars into their favourite tub of fatuousness, Philip Gastropod Adams.

Just a little stomach-churning sample:

Bush’s bullyboys are not hesitant to talk about the pre-emptive use of nuclear weapons, if only to bury Saddam in his reinforced concrete bunker.

This is either a deliberate lie, or the Gastropod's yank-hate word-generator is on automatic, and Phil just doesn't care what comes out.

Have you the stomach for more?

There’s every chance we’ll see a regional catastrophe far greater in scale and in hideousness than what we’ve recently witnessed in the Balkans. And what possible help will this be for Washington’s client state, Israel? Will they use the opportunity while the world is otherwise engaged for some ethnic cleansing of unwanted Palestinians?

And another invention:

Perhaps the rest of the Arab world will, as Bush apologists suggest, break into grateful applause as a new democratic government takes over in Baghdad.

So Bush and his advisors are such idiots they think that Arab dictators welcome democratic neighbours.

At least Phil finishes with an absoute truth:

Only to fools are the issues so simple.