Tim Blair


New Criterion



Saturday, January 18, 2003
ANDREW WYLIE'S Alt-ABC has struck a resonant chord or two among you.

Reader Rod hasn't been so excited since the Gastropod promised to turn his phallus into something useful and 5mm thick.

His proposals for new names are all reasonable:

1. New ABC, or NABC.
2. Actual ABC or AABC.
3. Absolutely everyone's ABC or AEABC

but don't excite me as much as Rod's astoundingly generous offer to make the Gastropod one of Alt-ABC's cleaning staff.

However, as acting Head of Human Resources I must insist that only the competent are allowed to clean our ash-trays.