Tim Blair


New Criterion



Saturday, November 23, 2002
MAHATHIR THE MAD's Malaysia deserves more attention as a haven for Islamofascist terrorism.

The latest version of the mastermind of the Bali bombings, Abdul Azis, was on his way there for refuge when captured by Indonesian police.

A key planning meeting for September 11th was held there.

It is the preferred hang-out of Hambali, the regional head of al Quaeda enterprises (Speedy demolitions a specialty) and provided the house next door to Hambali for Bashir the duck when Soeharto wanted him locked up.

Our own Jack Roche went there to make contact with key al Quaeda figures.

But it has very active political police, and its capo is trying to beat the fundamentalists at their own game.

Now that Indonesia seems to be heeding the call to action against terrorism, it's time to call Mahathir's bluff.

JACK ROCHE is a man of limited intelligence and a burning desire to have one over his fellow-citizens of Australia. He was a natural for the messianic version of Islam. An interview with Colleen Egan in the Enquirer section of today's Oz gives us some novel insights into the man, and more importantly, into al Quaeda's modus operandi for Australia. (Uncle couldn't find it on their Website, but you're welcome to try.}

Roche got involved in Jemaah Islamiya, whose Australian operations were run by twin brothers named Ayub who have since departed our shores for their homeland of choice. He was a willing killer for the cause, evidenced by his meetings with Hambali, the SE Asian branch head of al Quaeda, Bashir the duck and the great and good bin Laden himself, with whom Jack shared a meal in Afghanistan.

So far so good. Jack readily concedes he is willing to commit mayhem on US and Israeli targets in Australia. This would not affect his fellow Australians of course, unless they got in the way.

Here is the interesting bit. Why is the regional head of al Quaeda running Jack directly, by-passing the Ayub clones, who are very cranky when they find out?

The answer is a change in al Quaeda strategy. Since people "of middle-eastern appearance" are bound to attract attention when people perceive their situation to be risky, they need to use people of the same ethnicity as the local mugs.

So Jack leaves his patriarchal beard back in Afghanistan and returns to Australia with instructions to find a couple more pinkos of like inclination who can be sent to al Quaeda land for technical education. Then to wait for instructions.

So why is Jack squawking to the Oz? Well, he's just had a visit from ASIO and he's getting cold feet. He fears arrest and wants to put his side of the story. A good, loyal Aussie bomber of unwelcome foreigners.

Now he has been arrested, and it's all sub judice. But we can ask ourselves, again, some of the questions that the left commentariat were trying to answer for us after the ASIO raids of two weeks ago.

How important is it to keep the local associates of Bashir the duck, and other Australian-resident hate-talkers, under surveillance?

Were the cops who raided Jack's home looking for evidence "heavy-handed", or did they have sufficient reason to anticipate a violent response?

If hate-talking and deliberate incitement to violence can attract the attention of our vilification police, is the involvement of religion a sure protection against HREOC action? Acting HREOC Commissioner Bill Jonas has slapped down the dopy Fred Nile for wanting to ban chadors in public places (just like Singapore), Australia's political leaders have called for us to be alert but not alarmed in response to potential threats of terrorism. I say we should also be vigilant but not vilifying . But HREOC remains silent on the local Islamofascists.

Should Muslim schools be given special attention to prevent these creeps getting at the young?

And should converts to Islam be automatically added to the list of those deserving the attention of ASIO?

YOU'LL HAVE TO WAIT a bit longer to get your fangs into the Gastropod's gloss on Anatol Lieven.

In today's Oz (who says Murdoch lacks charity) the gaseous gnome has his column written by someone else, and admits it.

Of course the free lunch provider, a pathologist with another plan to dampen Australia's inland, gets a stroke in return.

SCOUT'S honour, today's column solves the world's water crisis. Apart from drought-proofing Australia, it will lead to the provision of an inexhaustible supply of fresh water for pretty much the entire planet.

But wait, there's more: one of the most elegant and important ideas since the invention of the wheel.

Which just goes to show that the Gastropod's understanding and judgment are equal in science in politics.

Good enough for the comedy section of the Oz; not good enough for Auntie.

Friday, November 22, 2002

CRIKEY: An email campaign by pro-Vivian Crikey subscribers couldn't save her
from the chop
according to today's 3pm Crikey email.

About two years too late Auntie has decided to give the boot to a mindless motormouth presenter who has trouble following her minders' briefing notes, commits more malapropism than Bjelke Petersen and embarrasses every Australian taxpayer five mornings a week.

Crikey subscribers want her back.

Well, they are stupid enough to pay for Crikey's drivel.

Cancel my subscription!

Can I have a refund?

Thursday, November 21, 2002

According to the Gastropod's regular stroking date in the US, Bruce Shapiro, some fascist US university head has withdrawn an invitation to that UK poet, whose name escapes me, who thinks Israeli West-Bank settlers are Nazis and deserve to be killed.

I just can't believe the assault on free speech has gone so far in the US.

Why doesn't this politically-correct Pom poet get a gig on Late Night Live? Someone has to stand up and be counted!

READY TO FISK, fellow bloggers for truth and freedom?

Following a thoroughly revolting and slurping stroke session with Anatol Lieven, the Gastropod will be using Lieven's colourful rhetoric to spice his next anti-Yank rant in the Oz.

The slobs among you who like shooting ducks in the farm-yard can dissect the Gastropodian gloss.

Those who like a little more of a challenge can deal with the original in the London Review of Books, linked in the previous post.

Here's a clue. Lieven has nothing new in the way of left analysis of US policy, actual and inferred, just a good line in extremist rhetoric.

Ready, set...

Wednesday, November 20, 2002

On which of Auntie's programs will you hear this lesson read out tonight?

That's right, it's tonight's Gastropod's gush.

But you don't have to wait. It's already been printed here.

YET ANOTHER BLOOD AND THUNDER MERCHANT whipping his constituents towards violence.

Aboriginal activist Murrandoo Yanner dramatically raised tensions at the Pasminco Century mine in northwest Queensland yesterday, calling on indigenous communities to send armed demonstrators to join a protest at the site

Readers of ABCwatch will need no reminding that Yanner's faction of the Aboriginal population around the munificent Century mine have been agitating against the agreement reached between the miners and the local community.

You may also recall that Yanner used Auntie's indigenous pulpit, Awaye, to promote his version of Aboriginal separatism and violent tactics.

His target now appears to be bloodshed to advance his cause.

Another test of our political IQ.


The national leader of the Greens, Bob Brown has predicted a Labor landslide in the forthcoming Victorian elections, against which hideous possibility Dr Brown prescribes the anti-venene of -

a green or two in the Parliamentary pews.

He says the Greens have the future concepts and in Parliament will be Victoria's best antidote to political boredom.

"[It will be] very difficult for the Greens to win seats but by golly if they get in there they're going to make Parliament interesting," Senator Brown said

At last Australian politics has produced the formula for the MTV generation, the Australian Greens.

Left-Labor policies, adolescent cynicism and campaign tactics from Greenpeace.

The Greens are presenting Australia with a national political IQ test. And they want us to fail.


The lovely Sheikh Al Hilaly of the Lebanese Muslim Association is wasting no time in putting his fatwa on the Howard Government's warnings about possible al Quaeda attacks in Australia.

"This is all for domestic consumption," he said.

Actually, it wasn't him speaking, but the supposedly prettier Keysar Trad, who speaks for the Mullah. Al Hilaly has only been a community leader in Australia for a decade or two and can't be expected to deal with the natives in their local language.

"Australia has always been a haven for peace and security.

Even if its culture is corrupt, its people debased and its women beneath contempt.

"I believe that all these warnings are politically motivated, much of this rhetoric is preparation to rush through certain legislations (sic)."

Now Uncle has heard no-one else come to this firm conclusion about the Government's warnings of the current terror hazard. Except the Gastropod on his Late Night Live pulpit, of course. But we know he's a jihadi.

There are two possible conclusions from this.

Either the Mullah of the Lakemba Mosque has the inside running on al Quaeda's plans and is qualified to call the Government a pack of liars, and he knows the Government's forward legislative program;

or the Mullah is as ignorant as the rest of us, but is playing religious wedge politics.

Take your pick.

If the second and more likely alternative is correct, this Mullah is a very mad Mullah indeed.

Uncle is prepared to wager a considerable sum that this essay into the politically unspeakable will pass without the hint of a slap from the liberal left.

Tuesday, November 19, 2002

Auntie's a sucker for bush populism. She knows she'd be dead without the National Party in Cabinet.

Plausibility is not a limiting factor when the Breakfast crew go rambling for a straw-coated, dung-smelling cause. Here it is, still dripping:

Victorian farmers are watching their money pour down the drain as they struggle to manage this drought. They say they're being forced to pay for 100% of their water allocations yet, their water rights are now down to less than half, while they still have to pay for water they can't use.

Try this experiment.

Your local Council has imposed water restrictions. But they refuse to cut your rates. They spout some crap about fixed costs, and drought-induced costs.

Now, try to get the Breakfast crew to give you peak air-time to promote your bleat.


The minders for Radio National's morning mouthpiece and serial commentator, Vivian Schenker, have found one of their own.

American journalist Mark Hertsgaard spent six months visiting Europe, Africa, the Middle East and Asia, talking to people about their perceptions of his homeland. What he found was that much of the anger was directed at the American Government and not Americans. More specifically, its military and corporations are resented, not its citizens. But do Americans understand this distinction?

We understand, don't we communards!

It's CAPITALISM. That's what's wrong with them.

Then follows a ten-minute stroke worthy of the Gastropod on Viagra.


At its best the ABC serves up material so good that it stops you doing what you really should be doing. Ten minutes of such pristine programming occurred this morning, when we heard extracts of the correspondence between Angus and Robertson editor, Beatrice Davis, and that prickly genius Xavier Herbert.

More! More! More!

Too bad; it's already finished.

Does make it hard to put up with the pseuds, ideologues and numb-wits Auntie squanders so much of our gold on.

Monday, November 18, 2002
WHAT A WEEKEND! Not a minute wasted with the communards of Radio National.

The Pre-Schoolers of Background Briefing were finding out that high level interference and FBI fumbling to protect American interests had prevented solving the US's anthrax attacks. I bet they already knew that before they started looking. (Don't try their audio - it connects to the wrong program. Transcript promised for Thursday, but of what will it be a transcript?).

Pastor Lane spent an hour of his life, and possibly yours, on the Victorian election. I don't know how he can find the trivia of Bourgeois Democracy so interesting. Could he come from Melbourne?