Tim Blair


New Criterion



Thursday, September 26, 2002
LEFT RIGHT OUT. A simple guide for the confused.

Answer these simple questions to find out where you stand on the political spectrum.

1. Is John Howard -
(a) a cardy-clad duffer drooling over his cup of cocoa and maundering on like Sandy Stone about life in the 1950s? (10 points)
(b) a bare-knuckle street-fighting deep-thinking smart politician who is a certainty beyond backing to thrash Labor more often than Menzies, and without the help of the Communist Party or the Democratic Labor Party. (-50)

2. Is Alexander Downer -
(a) the parfait gentil knight of democracy and Western values, leading the charge against the Ghoul of Baghdad, striking terror into Tariq Aziz and a heedless passion for following into the Australian people? (-30)
(b) Australia's Foreign Minister (-50)
(c) a pantaloon (100)

3. Is Kim Beazley
(a) Leader of the Parliamentary Labor Party (10)
(b) Still working on his election policies (50)
(c) A go-go dancer famous in the 1960s (-100)

4. Is Simon Crean
(a) certain what he's going to do about Iraq but not game to tell Caucus (20)
(b) not certain what he wants to do but going to do it anyway and with a very serious look on his face (40)

5. Is George Bush? (200)

The first reader to answer correctly all questions will receive a free licence to blog.

By the way, if you chose 1(a) you're Guy Rundle and you're at the wrong Website.

If you added up your points, click on through to here for help.